Even though I awoke not feeling that well this morning I woke with a great sense of peace. I knew that this “sickness” was an opportunity to go within and commune with the energy of the Goddess. I feel her more strongly today than I have in a while. I sense it is because of the stillness that the Winter Solstice evokes in me. This is what I wrote in my journal this morning:
I feel the quiet whisper of the Goddess Earth this day. Even though the cold would have us think that the Earth is asleep I feel her as very much “awake.” In the quietness I can hear her voice on the wind This voice evokes an ancient wisdom. She beckons me forth back into the womb. The womb is a place of rest and reflection for me. I imagine it as a deep cavernous space. There is a fire here. In the flames of this fire I see my future self burning brightly. This future self speaks to me of love and security. She invites me to relax as all will be well. I recognize how I almost always am in anxiety, waiting for the hammer to drop. That is my conditioning, the training I received from a very young age, that the world is an unsafe place. Always be on guard as you don’t know what or when? This “sickness” I am experiencing has given me permission to stop running from the “hammer”. When I stop running I can see how truly safe I am. Dwelling by the fire in the womb of the Goddess I experience the comfort of the Divine Mother. It is only me that leaves the warmth of her hearth. She is continually inviting me back home to her womb.
I had wanted to go to a ritual this weekend but I didn’t make it. The journalling connected me to the energy of the Divine in way that I had hoped to in ritual. I am grateful for this opportunity for reflection and this “illness” that has quieted my body and my mind.
Winter Solstice 2014