A Dream


It’s such a funny thing, this journey through grief.  You think you have come out the other side and then one day your are down on your knees again.  Grief doesn’t make sense. I almost feel shame about still feeling this way as I was not real close to my brother.  I tend to process through things very quickly.  I’m not moving through this at my usual speed.  I know that you will tell me that grief takes as long as it takes and I know this is true.

Last night I dreamed I was coming home from teaching a workshop.  My boyfriend, my mother and my brother Michael (the brother who passed) were all napping in the same room.  They woke up when I arrived.  I was the only one in the room who could see Michael’s ghost.  I kept talking to my mother and boyfriend about Michael really letting himself be known and the others just didn’t see it.  Finally I grabbed Michael’s arm and I asked my mother, “Don’t you see him?”  She couldn’t.  Slowly Michael started to fade away.  He was so sad that the others couldn’t see him.

Needless to say, that dream triggered my grief today.  I am completely open to any dream interpretations you may have.  I have my own ideas but would love some other insight.





4 thoughts on “A Dream

  1. Teaching Workshop: imparting wisdom to a group who are receptive to receive it
    Those Napping: needing to “wake up”
    What really stands out for me is “…Michael really letting himself be known and the others just didn’t see it”
    and “He was so sad that the others couldn’t see him.”

    I’m thinking it was a true visitation Sweetie. I think he was revealing the root of his deepest heartache. He is connecting with you because he knows you are “awake” and will be able to truly “see” him. Much love to you my dear friend. ~Maureen

  2. Della, I’ve been thinking and thinking about your blog. My take on this whole thing is that grief doesn’t necessarily fit into a nice neat tidy box. I finding that it comes and goes as it pleases and that it processes me rather than me processing through it. It seems to come up at unusual times with a whole array of triggers bringing it on. I personally am working towards acceptance of grief as a friend. Allowing it has my friend Della would say! And even getting a little comfortable with that. I had another dream about my mom last night, and it was one of those where are you she was dead but she didn’t know she was and I got really upset and said you have to stop being here because you’re not really here anymore. Needless to say I woke up a little rattled in the morning. But then I remembered that grief is setting the agenda and I just let it pass through me.

    I think I said this before but please also know that you can have a tremendous amount of grief around ‘the relationship that could have been’ as well as around a good relationship. Grieving the loss of what the two of you could have had together under different circumstances, I think is huge.

    Hope this helps, love, Jasmine

    Sent from my iPhone

    • Thank you, Jasmine. This does help. I actually sat with the idea of befriending my grief to see how that would feel. I think it helped me shift a bit from the idea that I was a victim of my grief. Thanks again.

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