My Solstice Journey

My Solstice Journey

It took six years to get me to my first 3HO Summer Solstice.  I had heard so many stories from people who had gone to previous solstices that I knew that I had to make the journey myself one day.  One of the things that kept me from going in the past is the fact that 90% of the 2,000 people that go every year camp.  I. Do. Not. Camp.  The Powers That Be seemed to know that if I was going to go on this adventure I’d have to have some accommodations that didn’t require tenting it.  Enter Guru Narayan (Luci Daum).  Earlier in the year she was given an RV and graciously offered me a ride to Solstice and let me stay in it for the duration.  What a gift that turned out to be.

It took us four days to get to Guru Ram Das Puri in Espanola, New Mexico.  At 5,600 feet in the high desert mountains you are immediately immersed in the sense of home.  That first day we registered for Solstice and simply took our time adjusting to the altitude and our surroundings.  When you register you sign up for a karma yoga job and you get a booklet with all the classes and workshops that are offered throughout the 10 day event.  Everyone who goes to Solstice is asked to put in a few hours a day helping to keep the program running efficiently.  My karma yoga choice was Divine Soles.

Your feet get dirty at Solstice.  Everything gets dirty at Solstice but the feet have it especially hard.  Divine Soles offers a relaxing place to soak and scrub your feet in a bucket of cool water.  During the intense heat of the day it is a great place to come and take a load off.  I would go there when I wasn’t working to take care of my own feet.  They became so cracked and dry that they bled every day that I was there.  It was my first lesson on this adventure in extreme self care.

There are so many classes and workshops to choose from and I wanted to take them all.  This was my chance to learn from some of the finest kundalini yoga teachers in the world.  Every day was packed from sunrise to sunset with classes ranging from Shakti Dance to Sat Nam Rasayan, Gurmukhi to Gatka, Celestial Communication to Soul Listening.  I was a sponge waiting to soak up the waters of kundalini yoga experience.  I naively thought I could do it all.

Before I embarked on this journey I set an intention for this experience.  I wanted to dissolve all those things that no longer served me.  I knew that this was a bold request and could have some challenging consequences as a result.  I know from experience the power of Kundalini yoga and especially White Tantric Yoga.  This technology can dissolve fears, heal neurosis and transform your life if you open yourself up to it.  I opened myself and then some. . .

Some of you may know me as a very energy sensitive empathic person.  I live my life in a very conscious way as a result.  I subsequently spend much of my time alone.  I need the alone time as a way to balance out my being in the world.  When you are an empath and around 2,000 people every day for 10 days it puts the energy system into a tail spin.

During Summer Solstice there are three days of White Tantric Yoga.  My first day of tantric was amazing.  I was grateful that it was such an easy day as far as tantric goes.  This incredible man just showed up when I raised my hand indicating that I needed a partner.  Har Deep was steady and strong and we enjoyed our experience so much together we agreed to be partners again on the third day of tantric as he already had a partner for day 2.  After dinner that night I  walked back to the RV for the evening as I was starting to not feel well.

I went to bed early and woke up the next morning trying to convince myself that I was emotionally and physically ready for another day of tantric.  I wasn’t.  It was a challenge to give myself permission to sit the day out.  After all, that was the real reason I was at this event in the first place.  White Tantric Yoga burns through karma more efficiently and quickly than any other technology that I have ever encountered or even heard of before.  I didn’t want to miss any opportunity to move through my “stuff” quickly.

Once I allowed myself to take the day off I headed back to the RV where my body simply took over.  I needed to lay down fast.  Everything was burning – the inside of my skull, my eyes, my skin.  I had this awareness that even though I wasn’t participating physically in the tantric experience with everyone else in camp it was still profoundly affecting me.  I could feel the energy of the tantric meditations entering my body from up on the hill.  I could energetically see this light emanating from the tantric shelter reaching out to me and entering every cell of my body.  By dinner time I was well again and more than ready for day three of tantric.  Or so I thought . . .

Once again, Har Deep proved to be a steady tantric partner.  Our first meditation of the day was 62 minutes and it went by fairly gracefully.  Five minutes into the second 62 minute meditation and I was done.  I raised my hand for a tantric monitor to come relieve me and I went off to find the bathroom.  Porta Potties are not a fun place to be physically ill.  They are hot and smelly and not conducive to sticking your head in a bowl.  Once I could leave I found a rock close by and sat down with my head between my knees.  I could barely raise my head without feeling faint and ill.

Once I was feeling better I walked over to some shade and ran into my friend Sunderta.  She was saying to me how she understood how hard Solstice was on sensitive people.  That suddenly made me feel better.  I had been beating myself up for not being able to “keep up”.  There was nothing wrong with me.  This was simply my experience of Solstice.  I surrendered.

Every afternoon I would hide out in the RV and journal.  The intense heat of the day and the energies of the experience slowed me down so I could only read and write and rest.  I became still in those afternoons.  A stillness that has stayed with me now that I’m back home.

I asked that all that didn’t serve me be dissolved on this journey.  For me, Solstice was an incredible physical challenge.  I know in that challenge transformation took hold.  I feel so different from just a few weeks ago.  I am no longer rushing around living my life in survival mode.  I have slowed way down and it feels divine.  I’m not so interested in drama as I am in peace.  Peace that comes from stillness.  Stillness doesn’t mean not moving, though it can.  It is a graceful moving.  An unhurried moving.

Will I go to Solstice again?  Yes.


One thought on “My Solstice Journey

  1. Sweetie, my heart goes out to you in your processing at such a magnitude (especially as A Sensitive). The act of accepting YOUR process was a truly powerful point of transformation. I so get the beating up part. I think talking about “acknowledging, and EMBRACING ALL ASPECTS of being A Sensitive” is a hugely important subject. Jean’s situation has absolutely magnified the Truth of this for me. She cracked her pelvis and has slipped into a “superficial’ coma-like state. She did the same thing after her heart surgery. I get the sense that as A Sensitive, the pain and trauma is just too much for her to cope with all at once. She has created her own rebirthing process, AT HER OWN PACE. It’s scary to watch from the outside but “tuning in”, it just makes perfect sense. I send Love to you back at your moment of experience and I thank you Today for bringing your experience to the forefront of our consciousness so we can claim our own experiences with the Honor being A Sensitive deserves.

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